With the new year arriving and fresh opportunities in the air, we often find ourselves navigating a whirlwind of emotions and scenarios. The weight of expectations, reflections on bygone times, and interactions with family and dear ones can feel like an overwhelming thing. Yet, in these moments, there is also a gift to be found: the gift of allowance.
What is Allowance?
Allowance is one of my favorite tools that we talk about within Access Consciousness. It has the power to transform our lives and make challenging or difficult situations much easier to navigate.
But what does allowance actually mean?
Allowance is about choosing not to react or engage in the polarity of this reality. In a world that constantly categorizes things as good or bad, for or against, allowance invites us to step out of this reactive, comparing mindset and instead choosing to be present and non-judgmental.
When we practice allowance, we acknowledge that every point of view, including our own, is simply a perspective. We do not need to agree or disagree, resist or comply. Instead, we can choose to see each point of view as interesting, without attaching any significance or judgment to it.
Choosing Interesting Point of View
When someone offers a judgment or criticism, we often find ourselves reacting automatically, either by agreeing or resisting. Allowance invites us to choose a different response: interesting point of view. By labeling each point of view as interesting, we de-charge the energy and remove the intensity or importance associated with it.
For example, if someone comments on your appearance, instead of getting upset or defensive, you can simply acknowledge their point of view as interesting. Whether they think you look amazing or need to change something, it becomes just one perspective among many. You no longer feel the need to prove yourself or defend your choices.
The Power of Non-Reaction
Practicing allowance is not about being a doormat or weak. On the contrary, it is an incredibly empowering and intelligent approach to life. When we choose not to react to others’ judgments or energy, we retain control over our own space and emotions.
By not engaging in the back-and-forth reactions, we conserve our energy and avoid getting caught up in unnecessary drama. We become the dominant force in our lives, no longer allowing external opinions or situations to disturb our inner peace.
Creating Space for Choice
One of the greatest benefits of practicing allowance is the space it creates for choice. When we are no longer bound by the need to react or respond, we gain the freedom to choose our own path and perspective. We can prioritize what is true and authentic for us, rather than constantly seeking external validation.
Allowance allows us to let go of the pressure to conform or please others. We can be confident in our choices, even if they differ from societal norms or the expectations of others. This newfound freedom and confidence bring more ease and joy into our lives.
An Invitation to Play
Embracing allowance is not a rigid practice or a set of rules. It is an ongoing invitation to play and explore. As with any skill, it takes practice to develop the muscle of allowance. The more we engage with it, the easier it becomes to let go of reactions and judgments.
Next time you find yourself in a situation where someone offers a judgment or criticism, try thinking “interesting point of view.” Keep this phrase in your head, silently reminding yourself that every perspective is just an interesting point of view. Notice how this simple shift in mindset allows you to stay centered and at ease.
Free-flowing dance floor
Practicing allowance isn’t about suppressing emotions or denying our truths; it’s about creating space for choice and non-reaction. Picture yourself as this vast expanse where everything is welcome, that’s where the magic happens.
You see, allowance isn’t a game of hide-and-seek or putting up ‘no entry’ signs. It’s just that you don’t let your reactions call the shots anymore, and suddenly, the dance floor of life becomes a whole lot more fun and free-flowing!
By embracing diverse perspectives and letting go of reactive patterns, we liberate ourselves from the heavy load of expectations. Instead, we step into our authenticity and joy. So, let’s have some playful fun exploring the magic and freedom that allowance brings.
Oh, and what if the start of a new year is also just an interesting point of view? *wink*
Kalpana Raghuraman is an advanced facilitator with the modality Access Consciousness, a published author and scholar. She is also artistic director of her own dance company, Kalpanarts.
